today, at work

n and s: giggling at monitor
a: what are you looking at?
s: do you know what a gimp is?
a: yeah, it's like a free version of adobe photoshop ... right?
s: no.

little did i know ...

a: oh, she has MYOB experience. that's good.
k: what is MYOB?
a & s: mind your own business
k: oh ... okay. but i don't get it.
s: mind your own business - it's an application for accounting.
k: oh! i feel so shutdown and enlightened at the same time.

well i thought it was funny.

klingon

assessor: do you speak any other languages?
candidate: i speak a smattering of klingon.

personal j.a.p. joke

i like harry potter.


image source: frostbittenfingers

in the loop

a & n: chatting gleefully on the train ride home
a: i don't even know what the trend is right now

n: me neither

a: i'm so out of the loop

n: me too. i'm so out of the loop, and yet i'm in the loop!
n: blank stare anxiously waiting for a positive reaction to lame yet witty comment

a & n: laugh hysterically

the ampeg 100w

a: omg that's huge.

m: you don't hear a girl say that every day.

a: omg it's so big. i don't think i could do it ...

j: that's what she said.

a: i mean, i don't know if it would fit.

j: that's what she said.

j: plays a tune or two with the aerodyne

a: oh wow, that's so good. it's so deep.

j: that's what she said.

image source: metallicbassist

backspace

d: ritio
a: kik====lol
a: omg ...
d: OMG! what?
a: i couldn't even backspace. LMAO. this is blog-worthy.

image source: mahaendra

nerd alert

a: what level are you?
p: i have seven level 80s.
a: mmm ... i was talking to deb. deb, what level are you in ballet ... ?
p: oh, okay. wow, i must sound like a loser.
a: this is true.

image source: keke kate

that's what she said

a: bites into corn on the cob. eh ... it squirted in my face!
j x 2: long pause. that's what she said.

life or lack thereof

a: yes! the post office has my large parcel. grins.
k: what did you get ... ?
a: something i don't need ... a big clock.
k: facepalm.
a: i got a trash bin the other day, too. i keep buying unecessary things.
k: you need a man.
a: this is true.

weird

k: there's this food show i like. it's really cool.
a: you're such a geek.
k: you've got to watch it! heston blumenthal. you'd really like him.
a: why would i like him?
k: because he makes these weird things. you like weird things.

a: i'm due for a phone upgrade soon. not sure what to get.
k: you should get the ... htc? it's for people who are more tech savy, whereas the iphone is for applications and easy use. you're nerdy and tech savy.
a: oh ... thanks!

i love how people associate me with weird nerdy things.

inspiration

k: hey, check this out. i look at the monitor more now when i type.
i can type faster now. i was inspired by you telling me how shit i was.

image source: peaceandposies

fml

note: k is my supervisor

only my colleagues and close friends would get this one. heart you.

k: hmmm ... what's there to do? i'll help with some of your work. okay, i'm going to be 'amanda'

a: okay great. you do that while i finish this off.
k: 'oh! i hate my life'. collapses on desk.

a: ... wow. you're good.

k: i know.

image source: phillip toledano

the pink clinker

a: please don't be yellow, please don't be yellow. bite. yellow.

c: bite. i got green. greens okay. i really don't like orange.

a: me neither. please don't be orange, please don't be orange. bite. orange. double fail!

c: that sucks.

a: maybe it's because i keep saying what i don't want, maybe if i ask for pink i'll get pink?

a: please be pink, please be pink. bite. pink! win!

c: that is a-mazing. we're doing that from now on.

a: proud.

image source: ellanue

inception

pt & a: ramble on about how hot joseph gordon-levitt is

pt: ... and how massive is the xtemescreen and it was so loud. my chair was vibrating.

a: mmm joseph gordon-levit and a vibrating chair. couldn't get any better.

group: long pause followed by giggling girls

tmi? ... tmi.

token asian

kd: what music do we have on 'hold'?
a: the three tenors
kd: does that really relate to our candidates?
a: no, but it's either that or christmas music
kd: what about the radio?
kf: we'd have to pay for the radio
a: no we don't, we'll just buy a gadget that plays the radio and plug it in
kd: oh, it's a legal thing
a: oh, a legal thing. i'm asian. legal does not exist in my vocabulary.

...

a: took me so long to get my contacts in and i had to tug on my eye ... which can cause wrinkles
d: oh, you don't have to tug that much
a: i have asian eyes
d: valid point

abstract reasoning

niamh: let's go through the examples. black diamond, white diamond, black diamond (note: these are images) - which option would be next in the sequence?
candidate: 6?
niamh: ... please look at the options

mothers and tattoos

mothers say the darndest things to keep their children from getting tattoos.

a: i'm getting a tattoo.
mum: you're such a weird girl. you have all these piercings and now you want a tattoo.
a: i'm not weird. you have a tattoo.
mum: i got mine as a souvenir from thailand.
a: ok, well then i'll get a tattoo when i'm in europe.
mum: but you're not married yet.
a: how does that have anything to do with getting a tattoo?
mum: you can't get a tattoo until you're married.

transfer me to payroll

a: hi, this is amanda from place-where-i-work, could i please be transferred to the payroll department?
reception: what is the call in regards to?
a: i'm just calling to validate a reference check.
reception: you are looking for the human resources department. i will transfer you now.
transfering - queue corny hold music
risk dep: insert-company-name-here, how can i help you?
a: hi, i would like to validate a reference check, so just verifying employment details of a referee.
risk dep: you’ve been transferred to the risk department, i’ll just transfer you through to human resources.
transfering - queue corny hold music
hr: insert-company-name-here, how can i help you?
a: hi, i would like to validate a reference check, so just verifying employment details of a referee.
hr: i’ll just transfer you through to payroll.

facepalm.

idiot

dealing with idiots over the phone is the bane of my existence.

a: you're going to have to speak to the HR manager re: your request
idiot: what's her email address?
a: her name is claire, email address is c ...
idiot: can you please spell that?
a: i am, it's c - d - a ...
idiot: oh ummm, can you spell that please?
a: i am spelling her email address for you ... insert-eye-twitch-here

image source: phillip toledano

ironic niamh

emma: so you can't eat fat?
niamh: yeah, i can't eat meat with fat unless it's been so deep fried that there's no fat left on it.

oh, the irony. i heart niamh.