parents return from vietnam

pssht ... and i'm here shitting my dacks over a piercing.

me: please don't yell at me -covers nose piercing-
mum: what?
me: -uncovers nose piercing-
mum: oh, i got a tattoo

my dad's cooler than me - he doesn't trip over rocks, he falls off motorbikes.

me: dad look at my thigh - i gashed it tripping over a rock at the beach!
dad: oh yeah? look at my calf

me: -dies-